Simple Equations while Taking a Dump
by Queliliscious
Summary: What really happens when Gokudera sees his sister? He takes a-crap. But where does he go? He doesn't want Juudaime to know so he goes to the closest supermarket. Wait, what equations? T for minor swearing and violence. Oneshot.


**A/N:** Hello people! This is so crack, but please don't mind me, or my weird twisted sense of humor. Just enjoy it, and laugh your insides out! I was high on chocolate while writing this, so please forgive me! If you like this kind of stuff or whatever, review! With enough said (or written, in this case), let the crack/crap begin! ^ ^

**Disclaimers: **I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! in any shape or form. Akira Amano does. If I did own KHR, it would be crazy like the story that you'll be reading now.

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><p>"Every single fucking time! Fuck this shit!"<p>

_Quite literally._

Gokudera unfortunately had a bad case of diarrhea upon seeing his sister's face.

Before, he had been to Juudaime's place with that baseball idiot and stupid cow, lecturing them about maths, when she came in. It was already pretty hot and cramped in the room, and he felt just a bit constipated and faint. He wished he hadn't eaten the baseball idiot's sashimi at his place beforehand with mango pudding as dessert afterwards. It just made him feel nauseous. But, he was able to hold it in.

For the sake of Juudaime.

He desperately tried to ignore the stomach pains as he continued to lecture.

Until Bianchi came by.

"So, boss. X is equal to 5 because you divide 55 with 11 on the other side of the-"

The door opened.

"Gokudera? Oh, you're here? I made some snacks for everyone. Want some cookies?" Bianchi asked, while carrying a plate of poison cooking and walking into Tsuna's room.

And that was when his stomach started to hurt even more.

Quite badly.

He started sweating and began to feel an odd pressure building down there.

"Gokudera, what's wrong?" A very worried Tsuna asked.

"Ju-Juudaime! I've got to go!" And with those words, he sped off at the speed of light to find the closest public restroom while holding his stomach.

Accompanied by a symphony of farts, which could be composed into a musical masterpiece if he actually had the ability to do so at that time, he ran to a nearby super market. Which was actually pretty far away.

Ran to the bathroom.

Went into a stall and locked the door.

And began to take his dump.

Quite loudly and foully.

Not before long, another person had walked in.

The sound of high heels could be heard echoing along the ceramic tiles of the lady's toilet.

A lady.

A loud sniffing could be heard from the mysterious woman.

"That's the most unladylike thing I've ever smelled." She exclaimed.

Gokudera panicked.

He just realized that there wasn't any toilet paper in his stall, and that he was in the wrong washroom.

The lady went into the stall beside his.

"Um…..excuse me miss, but do you mind passing me a roll?" Gokudera asked politely, as he was Juudaime's right hand man, after all.

"Who is this? A man in the woman's toilets? A peeping Tom?"

"SECURITY! SECURITY!" The woman screamed, promptly running out of the washroom to call the guards on him. This lady is apparently very over reactive and gets scared that assasins are everywhere out to get her. Typical of her to call security at a low level supermarket.

"Shit…..I can't get out now. I'm not finished. Fuck this." Gokudera groaned inwardly.

He prepared to fight off his toilet intruders, by using a simple equation that he just thought of.

With his specialty weapons.

Yes-you guessed right.

**Bombs.**

A couple of minute's later, security arrived.

"SECURITY IS HERE. COME OUT OF THE STALL IMMEDIATELY, OR WE WILL BREAK IN! WE WILL GIVE YOU TEN SECONDS! ONE. TWO. THRE-"

The SST (Supermarket Security Team) has arrived to take care of the anonymous stinky peeping? Tom.

"If you do, prepare to die!" Gokudera shouted back, scrunching his face up in intense concentration.

"FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!"

The guards kicked open the stall, and was hit with a tremendous amount of force that sent them sailing to the other side of the washroom. The guards were instantly knocked out by the force of the blast, and by the noxious fumes that were just emitted.

**_KA-BOOM._**

There was a flash of white light.

Then the washroom exploded.

A green gas permeated the air, as Gokudera walked out of the now destroyed bathroom with a smug smile on his face.

No one disturbs his dump time.

No one.

Or they'll feel his wrath.

That's how the storm guardian right hand man of Vongola Decimo should be.

By "bombarding" the enemy with an endless stream of attacks.

_Quite literally._

**Afterwards, back at Tsuna's place:**

"This afternoon at approximately 4 o'clock, a mysterious bombing at the local grocery store happened in the female toilets. Reporter Karen here, live with the news. Miss, what happened here?" A female reporter could be seen on the T.V with the destroyed bathroom in the background.

"A peeping Tom! That's what! I called security on him because he was in one of the lady's stalls! He also must be a druggie too! I think he was smoking something! I smelt something very bad, when I walked in there!" The young woman exclaimed, face flushed and with her blond hair stuck up in all directions.

"And then, when the guards broke into the stall, at that exact moment, there was a bright intense flash. I couldn't see, but I could smell. It smelled so bad! I then passed out, so there you go." The woman was panting now, and was turning very pale."

"We are currently trying to track down the mysterious bomber who appears to use toxic fumes to stun and finish off his enemies. If you have any information concerning this, any information at all, call-"

Gokudera started to panic, and turned off the T.V.

"Juudaime, do you understand how to do simple equations now?"

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><p><strong>Note for Gokudera: <span>DO NOT USE BOMBS IN THE TOILETS! I REPEAT DO NOT USE BOMBS!<span>**

**Gokudera:** STUPID WOMAN! WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME? I TELL YOU MY SECRET, AND YOU DECIDE TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD?

**Xenairge:** WELL, SORRY! IT WAS JUST TOO HILARIOUS! XD

**Yamamoto:** Mai, mai. Let's just all calm down, alright?

**Xenairge:** Well, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this and had a good laugh! R&R, whatever you like. Until next time everyone! ^ ^

**Gokudera:** I'm never forgiving you for this...


End file.
